My friend, who is seldom in Singapore is facing some family problem – her brother and his wife are chasing their father out of the house. They instigated their children not to call their grandfather and ignore his presence. Worse of all, they scolded and shouted at him in front of their children.
I could not help but ask if this is the way we should behave and to teach our children to show their respect for the elderly? How do you expect your children to treat you with respect when you are treating your parents like “dirt”?
Children learn through role modeling. In school, they role model their teachers. At home, they role model their parents. If you treat your parents with disrespect, I do not know how you could teach your children to respect you as their parents. How can you justify that? Can you simply just tell them that they have to respect you because you are their parents and you brought them up, give them you best and you love them? They would probably answer you that they are treating you like how you have treated your parents!” Indeed, they are not wrong … this is how you treat your parents, so don’t expect your children to treat you with respect when you do not know how to treat your parents with respect.
Of course, there are bound to be disagreement between adults. You can disagree with your parents. You may, occasionally, argue with your parents. BUT PLEASE, don’t do it in front of your children. You might think there are too young to know what’s going on. Believe me, they know what’s going on even if they do not understand what you are talking but the tone you used tell it all. Children are sensitive creatures!
So parents, next time before you disagree with your parents, think twice. Make sure you don’t do it in front of your kids. And please, don’t tell them to “disregard” their grandparents as if they are nobody. You won’t want them to do that to you in future!
Remember the golden rule – “Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you”.