Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

Any child with social intelligence, social skills, and good grades will feel proud and confident. There are additional things you can do to make your child even more confident and happy. Children that are happy and confident are more successful and a joy to be around!

Increase your child’s self-confidence

  1. Create opportunities for success. Ask your child to do things you know they can accomplish. For a young child, this might be putting their dirty clothes in the laundry basket. An older child would require a more challenging task.
  2. Allow your child to make decisions. Children feel more confident and like they have more control in their life when they can make decisions.
    ‣ Once a week, let your child choose the dinner menu, with the caveat that the meal must be healthy.
    ‣ Allow your child to choose the route home from the store or school.
    ‣ Let them choose their clothes for the day. You might want to provide three outfits and give your child a choice from those three options.
  3. Encourage them to resolve their challenges. If they complain that they’re bored, ask what they could do so they wouldn’t be bored. When a child is able to solve their own problems, their confidence will grow by leaps and bounds.
  4. Provide opportunities to be helpful. When we do things to benefit others, we feel better about ourselves.
    ‣ Give your child a helpful task to accomplish. It might be putting away the clean forks and spoons or filling the dog’s water bowl. Every child should have a few responsibilities around the house.
  5. Teach your children to trust themselves. Encourage them to make their own decisions. Some of them may be wrong, but then you’re presented with the opportunity to help them learn how to fix mistakes.
    ‣ A child that isn’t afraid of making mistakes is a highly confident child.
  6. Ask your child to list their accomplishments for the day. Teach them the habit of focusing on the positive. A few possible accomplishments might be:
    ‣ Getting an A on a spelling test
    ‣ Cleaning up their room
    ‣ Eating their vegetables
    ‣ Completing their homework
    ‣ Reading a book
    ‣ Playing well with their little brother
    ‣ Giving themselves a bath
  7. Be confident yourself. Show your child what real self-confidence looks like. Children model your behaviors.
  8. Give sincere compliments. Kids know when you’re throwing meaningless drivel at them. Avoid telling your son that he’s a great basketball player if he’s the worst on the team. Dig deep and give your child a sincere compliment.
  9. Avoid putting an emphasis on perfection. Expecting perfection creates a child that’s afraid to even try. Nothing is perfect and a goal of perfection is self-defeating. There are times you can “improve” your child’s result, but sometimes it’s best to allow your child’s results to stand on their own.

Avoid leaving your child’s confidence and self-esteem to chance. There are many simple and easy ways to grow your child’s sense of self-worth and increase his ability to tackle the world with confidence. A little time and effort each day can make a huge difference.

Motherhood has taught me the meaning of living in the moment and being at peace. Children don’t think about yesterday, and they don’t think about tomorrow. They just exist in the moment. – Jessalyn Gilsig

Next Chapter: Dealing with Failure