Monthly Archives: February 2010

Choosing a Preschool

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What are the criteria you look out for when choosing a preschool for your children? Costs, distance, curriculum, teachers, environment? 

My 3 years old Genz Kid is now in attending preschool in my neighbourhood.   My 10 years old Genz Kid used to attend private preschool which required him to do some travelling.   Why the difference, you may asked?

Well, the 2 main reasons are (i) there’s no good preschool in my neighbourhood; and (ii) since my son was the one and only then, my domestic helper can help fetch him to and from school.   It’s a bit tricky now that my son is in primary school.  I need to take into consideration a number of issues when sorting out my daughter’s preschool arrangement.

The advantages of the neighbourhood preschool? It’s cheaper and within walking distance.  The disadvantages? They do not offer 2nd language for Nursery 1 so my girl is not exposed to her mother tongue (i.e. Mandarin) in school, they changes teachers too often and sad to say, their teachers do not speak proper English (my husband once thought he was talking to an admin clerk when in fact he was talking to a teacher).   To make matter worst, my girl does not enjoy going to that school.  If you asked her if she wants to go to the school opposite, it’s a firm “No” but if you ask her if she wants to go to her weekend Chinese enrichment class, it’s always a firm “Yes”. 

I recently asked my son what’s so great about his preschool, he said he liked the teachers (whom I am still in contact with) and the environment.   For myself, it’s the communication and professionalism of the teachers that impressed me.

I believe that in order for you to do / learn something, you need to have a liking in that thing first. Once you have the interest , you will naturally enjoy doing that thing.  Same philosophy applies to going to school, you need to enjoy going to school first before you enjoy attending the lessons and learn.

Now, I’m really contemplating whether I should put my girl in my son’s preschool even though it means more money and require her to take school bus (the journey is about 20 minutes one way).  On bright side, I can be assured that she would be in good hand with professional and experienced teachers. 

Which would you choose if you were me?

For reading, http://preschool.sg/ (a website where parents shared their views and experiences on preschools, childcares, kindergartens & early educations in Singapore)

9 Ways to Forge Loving Ties That Last a Lifetime in Your Children

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Children have an amazing capacity to learn. They’re like sponges in the early years and they easily form memories that are cherished for a lifetime.

There are many things you can do in order to build loving ties that last. It’s a great way to teach your children trust and companionship. When you foster a positive relationship with your kids, it’ll be far more likely that they’ll continue to build happy and healthy relationships in the future.

Here are some ways to forge loving ties with your children:

1. Show your gratitude. You may feel gratitude for your children at every moment, but it’s what you project to them that matters. Make sure you verbally and physically show them gratitude. When you do, the message will come across clearly that you care.

2. Exemplify respect. Respect your children, just as you ask them to respect you. They’ll appreciate the saying, “treat people the way you’d like to be treated,” if it’s something that you practice as well.

3. Love them unconditionally. There will certainly be times when your children disappoint or anger you, but make it clear to them that you still love them even when you’re upset with their actions. It doesn’t mean you condone their behavior, but it does mean that you love them no matter what!

4. Make time for them. You’ll build stronger ties when you make time for your children and make an effort to participate in their interests. Ask them what they’d like to do and get involved in their life. This is a great way to enjoy some bonding time with your kids.

5. Encourage them. When your children face a challenge, it’s an opportunity for you to step up and help. Be there to nudge them in the right direction without being too pushy. Give them words of encouragement and let them know how much you believe in their abilities.

6. Help them build confidence and independence. Tell your kids that they can accomplish anything with a positive mindset. Encourage independence in your children so they can remain confident even in situations where you’re not around to help out.

7. Listen. Listen to your kids. They have many important lessons, ideas, and stories to share! When they know that you’re truly listening to them, they also know that you care and love them.

8. Make dinner together. Having meals together as a family is important because many times that’s the only time of day where everyone can be together. Instead of being silent or making small talk, use the opportunity to share love and support. Later in life, your children will remember these wonderful family dinners.

9. Schedule family time. Establish regular opportunities dedicated to building memories with your family. Let each family member choose an activity to enjoy together. Laughing and having fun together will help to build ties that last forever.

When you use these tips to show your family how much you care, the feelings are more likely to become mutual. Spend one on one time with each member of your family and get involved in each other’s lives to connect on a deeper level. It’s those moments of sharing that will last a lifetime!

Respect your Parents

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My friend, who is  seldom in Singapore is facing some family problem – her brother and his wife are chasing their father out of the house.  They instigated their children not to call their grandfather and ignore his presence.  Worse of all, they scolded and shouted at him in front of their children.

I could not help but ask if this is the way we should behave and to teach our children to show their respect for the elderly? How do you expect your children to treat you with respect when you are treating your parents like “dirt”? 

Children learn through role modeling. In school, they role model their teachers.  At home, they role model their parents.  If you treat your parents with disrespect, I do not know how you could teach your children to respect you as their parents.  How can you justify that? Can you simply just tell them that they have to respect you because you are their parents and you brought them up, give them you best and you love them?  They would probably answer you that they are treating you like how you have treated your parents!” Indeed, they are not wrong … this is how you treat your parents, so don’t expect your children to treat you with respect when you do not know how to treat your parents with respect.

Of course, there are bound to be disagreement between adults.  You can disagree with your parents. You may, occasionally, argue with your parents.  BUT PLEASE, don’t do it in front of your children.  You might think there are too young to know what’s going on.  Believe me, they know what’s going on even if they do not understand what you are talking but the tone you used tell it all.  Children are sensitive creatures!

So parents, next time before you disagree with your parents, think twice.  Make sure you don’t do it in front of your kids. And please, don’t tell them to “disregard” their grandparents as if they are nobody.  You won’t want them to do that to you in future! 

Remember the golden rule – “Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you”.

Talking with Teenagers – How to Have the Tough Conversations

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Sometimes teenagers aren’t given enough credit. They’re smart and, with the proper knowledge, they can make informed decisions just like any adult. The trick is having the wisdom to know when your teenager is ready to learn certain lessons.

Talking To Young Adults
Posing in the garden
Photo by Waechor

It’s easy to forget that you shouldn’t treat teenagers like children. When you eye their every move and talk down to them, you’ll eventually lose their trust. When you allow them to be themselves and, at the same time, nurture them when they need it, they’re more likely to open up to you.

One reason why conversations with teenagers can be so difficult is because it’s challenging to walk that fine line between treating them like an adult, while still exerting some parental control. It’s also tough to watch your children make mistakes that you think you could’ve prevented. The only thing you can really do is give them advice when they are open to it.

These tips may help you strike a good conversation with your teen:

* Make an extra effort to talk to them, but don’t push the issue. It’s normal for a teenager to withdraw from communication from time to time.

* As long as you have no reason to be suspicious of them, you should respect their privacy.

* You can wait to have certain conversations with them until they’re ready, but on the other hand, you don’t want to wait too long.

Talking About Sex

Sex is a topic that you may naturally feel awkward talking about, no matter who you’re having a conversation with. With your own teen, it can be especially tough to have an open and honest talk.

Chances are they already know a great deal about this topic. However, if they ask you questions, be honest with your answers. It’s actually better for them to be getting information from you. You’ll know that what you’re providing is accurate, and you’ll be building a lasting relationship with your teen that will grow into adulthood.

While there are certainly differing opinions on the subject, try to get your perspective across without being judgmental.

Talking About Drugs

The topic of drugs is another important one. It’s best to be educated early on this topic. Children should be taught to avoid drugs, so it’s certainly a topic you should bring up with your teenagers from time to time.

If you’re involved in your teen’s life and have no reason to believe they’d be involved with drugs, you probably have nothing to worry about. However, if your teen acts withdrawn and you don’t know their friends very well, there might be a problem.

Trust your instincts. If you think something’s up, then strive to be more involved. You may be dealing with a tough situation and, therefore, you should make the extra effort to discuss the issue with your teen.

Trusting Your Teen
It all comes down to the issue of trust. Remember that trust is a two way street. If you maintain a good level of trust with your teen, they’ll feel comfortable having conversations with you. This will hold true even if it’s one of the tougher conversations. Just make sure you remain open to your teen, and they’ll come to you for advice.

The Career Mom – How to Balance Your Career and Home Life

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In this day and age, it’s becoming more and more difficult to live off of one income. This means that oftentimes moms have few options when it comes to the decision of whether or not to work while raising children.

If you’ve decided to keep up with your career, whether through choice or necessity, you’ll be busy, but you can certainly make it work. You’ll be rewarded in the end because you won’t have to worry about re-entry into the workforce once the kids are older, and you may opt to continue building your own 401K for retirement purposes.

Scheduling and Planning

When you ask most working moms about how they do it, you’ll often hear about their particular scheduling and planning habits. It’s important to work out a set schedule that works for you personally.

Consider the following working mom tips:

1. Plan your mornings. If you’re not a morning person, try completing some of your morning tasks the evening before. Set aside enough time to get the kids up and dressed if they’re not old enough to do it themselves. If you can, enjoy a meal together as a family before the day’s commitments.

2. Schedule events. Schedule your after work activities in a planner. This will ensure that there’s room for everything and that nothing important is forgotten along the way. Play dates, grocery shopping, and other errands can be scheduled as well.

3. Be flexible. Remember that everything won’t always go perfectly. If something doesn’t work out and you need to rearrange your schedule, just plan to do something on a different day. Since you’re juggling many tasks at once, keeping your schedule flexible is a must for keeping your stress levels down.

Staying Involved

One of the top worries of working moms is the fact that they feel like they’re not as involved. However, if you concentrate on spending the time you do have with your little ones in a quality way, you’ll still be heavily involved in their lives. Just because you aren’t there every minute, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t making a big difference in their lives.

When you arrive home from work, do something with your children that you’ll all enjoy. Maybe they’ll want some alone time to play independently, but you can also stay involved by showing that you care. You’ll have quality time with them at meals, and you can always engage them in family games or other activities.

Taking Breaks

It’s vital that you remember to schedule some breaks. If you need a “spa day” every once in awhile, it’s certainly something that you deserve. Sometimes you’ll feel that you spend every waking moment either at work or worrying about the children, so take some time to unwind. Read a book after the kids have gone to bed, work on your relationship with your spouse, or engage in something you find relaxing.

Your Relationships

Spend individual time with each member of your family. Be sure to remember your partner during life’s crazy times and give that relationship some much-needed nourishment as well. Individual attention will help you get to know your kids better, and you’ll have time to truly build upon your lasting relationship.

A career mom is a truly special person. Sure, life can get really hectic at times, but if you follow these tips, you’ll be able to strike a happy balance between your career and your life at home.

Homemade Ice Cream, anyone?

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My colleagues are crazy over homemade ice-cream these days.  It  was to the extent that they attended the workshop organised by the trainer.   I was told that the essential item you need to have is an ice-cream maker machine which costs around $88 and with that, you can make yummy and delicious ice-cream, sorbet, yogurt and gelato. 

To tempt you more,  I was told that the ice cream was so good that it is equivalent to those you eat at Hagan Das or Island Creamery, and best of all at an “affordable” price. 

Here is a recipe of lemon & cream ice cream recipe from the website (www. dessertart.com.sg)

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 egg
  • 65 g castor sugar
  • 120 g milk
  • 230 g cream (35% fat)
  • Zest of one lemon
  • 35g lemon juice

PREPARATION:

  1. Whisk the egg and sugar until thickened.
  2. Add cream and milk to the egg mixture and simmer over double boiler.
  3. Bring mixture to approx 85 deg C or until mixture is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.
  4. Before plunging the hot mixture into an iced water bath, stir in fresh lemon zest and let stand the cooled mixture in the refrigerator for a further 2-4 hours.
  5. Add in the lemon juice into the chilled mixture.
  6. Churn the combined mixture in the Venetto Ice Cream maker until firm and spoon the ice cream in a container to let in set the freezer for a further 4 hours or overnight.

Happy Ice cream making ! Oh yes, before I forget, my colleagues said that their children’s friends were so amazed by them whipping out those yummy ice-cream that they are so “famous” amongst the kids’ friends now and their kids are so…. PROUD of them ;-)   A good way of bonding with your kids? Maybe!

Link: http://www.dessertart.com.sg/

Email: dessert-art@hotmail.com