Journey about raising up our lovely kids
Mothers Blog About Gen Z Kids
Respect your Parents
Feb 7th
My friend, who is seldom in Singapore is facing some family problem – her brother and his wife are chasing their father out of the house. They instigated their children not to call their grandfather and ignore his presence. Worse of all, they scolded and shouted at him in front of their children.
I could not help but ask if this is the way we should behave and to teach our children to show their respect for the elderly? How do you expect your children to treat you with respect when you are treating your parents like “dirt”?
Children learn through role modeling. In school, they role model their teachers. At home, they role model their parents. If you treat your parents with disrespect, I do not know how you could teach your children to respect you as their parents. How can you justify that? Can you simply just tell them that they have to respect you because you are their parents and you brought them up, give them you best and you love them? They would probably answer you that they are treating you like how you have treated your parents!” Indeed, they are not wrong … this is how you treat your parents, so don’t expect your children to treat you with respect when you do not know how to treat your parents with respect.
Of course, there are bound to be disagreement between adults. You can disagree with your parents. You may, occasionally, argue with your parents. BUT PLEASE, don’t do it in front of your children. You might think there are too young to know what’s going on. Believe me, they know what’s going on even if they do not understand what you are talking but the tone you used tell it all. Children are sensitive creatures!
So parents, next time before you disagree with your parents, think twice. Make sure you don’t do it in front of your kids. And please, don’t tell them to “disregard” their grandparents as if they are nobody. You won’t want them to do that to you in future!
Remember the golden rule – “Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you”.
Talking with Teenagers – How to Have the Tough Conversations
Feb 6th
Sometimes teenagers aren’t given enough credit. They’re smart and, with the proper knowledge, they can make informed decisions just like any adult. The trick is having the wisdom to know when your teenager is ready to learn certain lessons.
Talking To Young Adults
Photo by Waechor
It’s easy to forget that you shouldn’t treat teenagers like children. When you eye their every move and talk down to them, you’ll eventually lose their trust. When you allow them to be themselves and, at the same time, nurture them when they need it, they’re more likely to open up to you.
One reason why conversations with teenagers can be so difficult is because it’s challenging to walk that fine line between treating them like an adult, while still exerting some parental control. It’s also tough to watch your children make mistakes that you think you could’ve prevented. The only thing you can really do is give them advice when they are open to it.
These tips may help you strike a good conversation with your teen:
* Make an extra effort to talk to them, but don’t push the issue. It’s normal for a teenager to withdraw from communication from time to time.
* As long as you have no reason to be suspicious of them, you should respect their privacy.
* You can wait to have certain conversations with them until they’re ready, but on the other hand, you don’t want to wait too long.
Talking About Sex
Sex is a topic that you may naturally feel awkward talking about, no matter who you’re having a conversation with. With your own teen, it can be especially tough to have an open and honest talk.
Chances are they already know a great deal about this topic. However, if they ask you questions, be honest with your answers. It’s actually better for them to be getting information from you. You’ll know that what you’re providing is accurate, and you’ll be building a lasting relationship with your teen that will grow into adulthood.
While there are certainly differing opinions on the subject, try to get your perspective across without being judgmental.
Talking About Drugs
The topic of drugs is another important one. It’s best to be educated early on this topic. Children should be taught to avoid drugs, so it’s certainly a topic you should bring up with your teenagers from time to time.
If you’re involved in your teen’s life and have no reason to believe they’d be involved with drugs, you probably have nothing to worry about. However, if your teen acts withdrawn and you don’t know their friends very well, there might be a problem.
Trust your instincts. If you think something’s up, then strive to be more involved. You may be dealing with a tough situation and, therefore, you should make the extra effort to discuss the issue with your teen.
Trusting Your Teen
It all comes down to the issue of trust. Remember that trust is a two way street. If you maintain a good level of trust with your teen, they’ll feel comfortable having conversations with you. This will hold true even if it’s one of the tougher conversations. Just make sure you remain open to your teen, and they’ll come to you for advice.
The Career Mom – How to Balance Your Career and Home Life
Feb 2nd
In this day and age, it’s becoming more and more difficult to live off of one income. This means that oftentimes moms have few options when it comes to the decision of whether or not to work while raising children.
If you’ve decided to keep up with your career, whether through choice or necessity, you’ll be busy, but you can certainly make it work. You’ll be rewarded in the end because you won’t have to worry about re-entry into the workforce once the kids are older, and you may opt to continue building your own 401K for retirement purposes.
Scheduling and Planning
When you ask most working moms about how they do it, you’ll often hear about their particular scheduling and planning habits. It’s important to work out a set schedule that works for you personally.
Consider the following working mom tips:
1. Plan your mornings. If you’re not a morning person, try completing some of your morning tasks the evening before. Set aside enough time to get the kids up and dressed if they’re not old enough to do it themselves. If you can, enjoy a meal together as a family before the day’s commitments.
2. Schedule events. Schedule your after work activities in a planner. This will ensure that there’s room for everything and that nothing important is forgotten along the way. Play dates, grocery shopping, and other errands can be scheduled as well.
3. Be flexible. Remember that everything won’t always go perfectly. If something doesn’t work out and you need to rearrange your schedule, just plan to do something on a different day. Since you’re juggling many tasks at once, keeping your schedule flexible is a must for keeping your stress levels down.
Staying Involved
One of the top worries of working moms is the fact that they feel like they’re not as involved. However, if you concentrate on spending the time you do have with your little ones in a quality way, you’ll still be heavily involved in their lives. Just because you aren’t there every minute, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t making a big difference in their lives.
When you arrive home from work, do something with your children that you’ll all enjoy. Maybe they’ll want some alone time to play independently, but you can also stay involved by showing that you care. You’ll have quality time with them at meals, and you can always engage them in family games or other activities.
Taking Breaks
It’s vital that you remember to schedule some breaks. If you need a “spa day” every once in awhile, it’s certainly something that you deserve. Sometimes you’ll feel that you spend every waking moment either at work or worrying about the children, so take some time to unwind. Read a book after the kids have gone to bed, work on your relationship with your spouse, or engage in something you find relaxing.
Your Relationships
Spend individual time with each member of your family. Be sure to remember your partner during life’s crazy times and give that relationship some much-needed nourishment as well. Individual attention will help you get to know your kids better, and you’ll have time to truly build upon your lasting relationship.
A career mom is a truly special person. Sure, life can get really hectic at times, but if you follow these tips, you’ll be able to strike a happy balance between your career and your life at home.
Homemade Ice Cream, anyone?
Feb 2nd
My colleagues are crazy over homemade ice-cream these days. It was to the extent that they attended the workshop organised by the trainer. I was told that the essential item you need to have is an ice-cream maker machine which costs around $88 and with that, you can make yummy and delicious ice-cream, sorbet, yogurt and gelato.
To tempt you more, I was told that the ice cream was so good that it is equivalent to those you eat at Hagan Das or Island Creamery, and best of all at an “affordable” price.
Here is a recipe of lemon & cream ice cream recipe from the website (www. dessertart.com.sg)
INGREDIENTS:
- 1 egg
- 65 g castor sugar
- 120 g milk
- 230 g cream (35% fat)
- Zest of one lemon
- 35g lemon juice
PREPARATION:
- Whisk the egg and sugar until thickened.
- Add cream and milk to the egg mixture and simmer over double boiler.
- Bring mixture to approx 85 deg C or until mixture is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon.
- Before plunging the hot mixture into an iced water bath, stir in fresh lemon zest and let stand the cooled mixture in the refrigerator for a further 2-4 hours.
- Add in the lemon juice into the chilled mixture.
- Churn the combined mixture in the Venetto Ice Cream maker until firm and spoon the ice cream in a container to let in set the freezer for a further 4 hours or overnight.
Happy Ice cream making ! Oh yes, before I forget, my colleagues said that their children’s friends were so amazed by them whipping out those yummy ice-cream that they are so “famous” amongst the kids’ friends now and their kids are so…. PROUD of them 
A good way of bonding with your kids? Maybe!
Link: http://www.dessertart.com.sg/
Email: dessert-art@hotmail.com
Affirmation – I am who I want my children to become
Jan 31st
Every day, I live my life aware that I am who my children will become. My actions, reactions, and values are being imprinted on my children. It is my responsibility to conduct myself in such a way that will be worthy of their imitation.
I work hard to be the person I want my children to become because I am the most important influence in my children’s lives.
I share my life openly with my family so my children can learn from my experiences. Carrying myself with integrity enables my children to see that I am the same regardless of the situation.
My children will be generous with others because I model selfless giving. Each time I offer a helping hand or a listening ear to a person in need, the experience is etched into my children’s memories. I actively engage my children in acts of kindness.
The disciplined lifestyle that I implement in my life also benefits my children. The addictions that I have overcome, as well as the healthy habits I have begun, will produce a better future for my family.
My reward for my diligence in improving myself is the knowledge that my children will not have to struggle as hard as I have, because I am setting them up for success.
Today, I am proud of who I am. I work hard to become someone worthy of my children’s admiration. I am confident that my children will benefit from following my footsteps.
Self-Reflection Questions:
1. What is my vision for my children’s future?
2. What values are my children learning from my behavior?
3. How can I improve my actions so my children can follow my footsteps?
A short account – Distant Family Member
Jan 28th
A new addition to our family tree – my little nephew was born in mid December and just returned back to Thailand yesterday after a 2 weeks stay with my parents. I got to see him twice over the Saturdays while he was here. He is a very cute little boy and am starting to feel sad just thinking that I won’t be seeing him this coming Saturday and not sure when will he be back again for “holiday”.
This little nephew of mine was a darling, who hardly fusses even when he is wet, hungry or tired. I recalled that he was having constipation one Saturday and while trying to get his poos out, he didn’t cry out loud like most babies would, he just shed his tears quietly. He has really big eyes and would start at you when you talk to him. He is so adorable that even my 3 years old girl loves talking to him. I told her last night that her little brother has went back to Thailand and we won’t be seeing him this Saturday when we go to her “po po” house, she looked sad and kept asking me “why?”.
We miss him (especially my parents who get to see him everyday for that 2 weeks) and if you have family members who stay overseas and comes back to Singapore only a few times a year, you would comprehend how we feel…
So till we see him again (which I bet he would look very different then), we could only affectionately remember him as how he looks like now!
Book Review – The Diary of Amos Lee
Jan 12th
Have you read “The Diary of Amos Lee” written by Adeline Foo? I brought the 1st book “The Diary of Amos Lee: I Sit, I Write, I Flush! for my son during his December school holiday last year. He enjoyed the book so much that he finished reading the book within a day. He said he couldn’t stop reading it once he started reading the same. I suppose the book must be entertainingly as I could hear his laughter while he was reading it. He said it was one of the best books he had read.
Last Sunday, my son was expected to write a journal as homework and he used the book as a reference. I read his master piece and gees, it was pretty interesting and humorous that I can’t stop giggling while reading it. Even Genz Dad thinks that the journal was written very creatively. As a result, in a spur of moment yesterday evening, I got him the 2nd book – The Diary of Amos Lee: Girls, Guts & Glory! As expected, he finished ¾ of the book last night and I bet he would finish the whole book today.
Here’s the extracts of the book review from the official website of The Diary of Amos Lee (http://www.amoslee.com.sg/home.html):
The Diary of Amos Lee: I Sit, I Write, I Flush!
This diary began as Mum’s New Year resolution to get me to write. She told me to write when I am doing my big business. “Five to eight minutes max!” she said. “I don’t want you to develop piles!” And so my writing in the bathroom began. My entries started with the boring old stuff… then Mum got this new job as a writer and, following her around, I got to do fun stuff, like ogle at deformed frogs, see into the future with a fortune-telling parrot and wow at a life-sized F1 car made of chocolate! That’s how I got more interesting things to write about. Plus, I had to deal with an EVIL bully who was tormenting me at school… thank goodness for my best friends, Alvin and Anthony, we rallied against the bully and got through this year with lots of adventures and good fun!
The Diary of Amos Lee: Girls, Guts & Glory!
The story of Amos continues. He is still writing his diary in the toilet, but he has found a way to hide it from Mum’s prying eyes. Amos joins the school’s swim team and learns about hunger, not the sort to make you want to eat food, but the drive to excel and win medals in competitions! The themes in Book 2 touch on family, friendship and loyalty. Lessons are also drawn from Olympic legends like Michael Phelps, Carl Lewis and Sebastian Coe, in inspiring legions of young athletes to be the best in both studies and sports. Amos seeks his Olympic dream, in this second installation.
Parents, if you are trying to cultivate good reading habits of your children, try these books.
Advice or Advise?
Jan 11th
English can be quite confusing. There are a lot of words and some may sound the same, some with similar spelling but different meaning. It is almost impossible not to make mistake in English, even if you are a teacher or a university graduate. The only thing we could be is perhaps to avoid making them.
There are these 2 words which can be confusing – “Advise” and “Advice”. When do you use “advise” and/or “advice”. Firstly, we need to understand that these 2 words though somewhat sound the same, have different meaning. “Advise” is a verb meaning the act of giving a recommendation and therefore refers to the act of giving advice. E.g. The lawyer advised that the defendant plead guilty to the charges. “Advice” on the other hand is a noun meaning recommendation. E.g. The client thanked the lawyer for his detailed advice.
There are many other confusing words such as altogether vs all together, any one vs anyone, borrow vs lend, everyday vs every day, enquiry vs inquiry, I vs me, me vs my, who vs whom, and the list goes on and on..
Here are some useful resources on Common Mistakes and Confusing Words in English. They are easy to understand so very suitable for students too. Happy reading …
I Passed My Driving Test!
Dec 30th
I passed my driving test few days ago at my first attempt. The whole test was not smooth sailing, I had a strict tester. I googled his name when I reached home and found that he was rather infamous and failed most of his students. He is named the “No. 1 killer tester”. His name – Poh Ah Soon.
Anyway, that’s not the purpose of my blog today. My purpose of today’s blog is to share with you some “exam techniques” that I shared with my son after the test.
My son was very proud of me and commented that I’ve never once failed a test. I told him that I was actually very nervous before the test and asked if he would like to know my “tricks” on how I managed to pass the test. He eagerly replied with a “yes!” and this is what I shared with him:
- Be well-prepared for the D day. Practice makes perfect!
- Have a bottle of water with you on the exam day. Before the exam, sip some water (not too much, else you might have to go to toilet). This is a trick my lecturer taught us in school. Thirst+ nervous = lack of oxygen to brain.
- Though it’s common to be nervous before any exam. It is important to stay calm. Take a deep breath before the start of exam.
- During the exam, if you do not know the answers to some of the questions, don’t panic – move on to the next questions, highlight those questions you have yet attempted and go back to those questions you do not know later (for my driving test, I made some mistakes at the circuit, but I just moved on and not think about the mistakes that I’ve made earlier.)
- Check your work if you have the time.
- After the exam, accept whatever outcome it may be as long as you have tried your best. If you failed or didn’t do well, try again the next time.
Good Luck to all taking exams (whatever type it is)!
Help Your Children Develop Independence
Dec 29th
When your children are young, they depend on you for their every need. Sometimes it’s difficult for you to sit back and watch them develop their own independence. It might be tough but when you allow your child to make his or her own mistakes and learn life lessons early, they’ll grow into happy and healthy adults.
The best thing you can do is to find a balance because you don’t want to allow your child too much independence too early. You want to be able to watch your child develop independence from the sidelines so you can step in when needed.
Consider these tips as you nudge your child towards an independent life:
1. Let them make choices. While you don’t want your children making all the decisions, it’s important to allow them to make certain choices from time to time. Even as young toddlers you can give them opportunities to choose and develop independence.
* Allow your children their own meal choices.
* Let them pick some family activities.
* Let them choose toys and pursue their own hobbies.
* Allow them to dress themselves as long as their choices are appropriate.
2. Work on social skills. A large part of independence is learning how to effectively communicate. Improper communication skills can hold your child back. Children of all ages can work on developing better social skills.
* Reinforce the idea of sharing with young children.
* Teach your children appropriate ways to make friends.
* Teach them how to be polite and to use good manners.
3. Life lessons. It’s always a good idea to work on life lessons. This can be done early as well. Your children don’t need you to treat them as if you’ll always be there to take care of their every need. While you should always be there for them emotionally, teach them that you won’t solve every problem for them.
* Assign age appropriate chores to your children.
* Provide them with rewards for a job well done.
* Teach your children time management and problem solving skills.
Young Children
When you create a good learning environment for your children right from the beginning, they’ll start to develop independence on their own. They’ll learn to crawl to you and walk to you.
It’s important to give them opportunities to learn on their own early on. If they attend daycare, they’ll work on these skills during the day while you’re at work. If not, it might be a good idea to attend a local playgroup so your child can get to know others their age.
During these opportunities, let them do as they please while you watch from the sidelines. Let them play and only step in when needed. If your child begins to fight with another child over a toy, step in momentarily to reinforce the idea of sharing.
Whenever your child shows positive social skills, remember it together and reward them for their good behavior.
Older Children
Older children present a different set of parenting requirements. You might be scared as they face life’s tough decisions, but in the end you need to trust that they’ll make the right choices. After all, you can’t make decisions for them, but you’ll probably realize that your kids are smarter than you think!
In these circumstances, all you can do is work to keep the lines of communication open. As your children are growing up, have the tough conversations with them and let them know that you can be relied upon for your love and support.
Trust your children, but monitor them closely if you do have suspicions of negative activities. You shouldn’t encroach on their personal space, but there are still things you can do, such as keep track of their online activities and ask them where they’re going, with whom, and when they’ll be back. Set rules and curfews to help them make good choices.
Follow these tips and you’ll be rewarded with joy and pride as your children grow into capable, confident adults.